Growing Up
by Lemurian-Girl
Summary: She said yes to him, to dance with Sain of all people. It how she thought she could prove herself as bold and unafraid. But perhaps she doesn't need to change to grab the one man she could ever love. :SainFlorina:


Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem.

Author's Note: I am dedicating this to RLnaruhina and TweekinTinkaToy. They kinda sorta recruited me to write this.

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I don't know why I said yes to him. It was strange, as if there was someone else speaking for me, like I was posessed by this bolder, more confident soul. Fiora and Lyn were no where to be seen, and they could not protect me from him and his "charms". But I was sick and tired of being protected, of being shielded. Perhaps saying yes was my defiant stand against that. Perhaps saying yes proved that I was no longer scared little Florina but the woman Florina. 

Or perhaps it was time for me to admit that his antics were slightly...cute.

So as Sain took my hand in his, I felt my heart flutter, if only for a moment. Of course I scolded myself, as Fiora or Lyn would do. They would say that he was a womanizer, a shallow fool and a bad influence. How could I think that he was cute? The one man I should avoid above all else!

And yet my heart still tugged at the thought. These strange sensations that engulfed me. I suppose you could call them an attraction or a crush. They were still so foreign...so alien. My childish dreams of romance were nothing like this, but then again, I was never cut out for romance. It was just a distant reverie.

We joined the other couples, in a celebratory dance of our victory against Nergal and the dragons. My insecurity overtook me as I stumbled clumsily through the dance. Oh why do I always have to make a fool of myself! I began to pull away uneasily when Sain tightened his grip on my hands and pulled up closer to me than anyother man would have dared. More than I was bolder to do myself. He leaned his head over to my side and whispered in my ear, the words tickling me,

"Let me lead." I blushed at his gentleman-like demeanor at the moment. Where was the man that spoke his mind to whatever woman he cast a glance towards? Where was the rude, out-spoken soldier that had pestered every woman in the army? Where was the paladin that I had inadvertantly fallen for?

"Are you alright, my fair lady?" Sain's voice broke me out of my thoughts. "Your fair face seems to be flustered." I was painfully aware of how much I was shaking at this point, so close to a man, especially Sain. I gulped back my quivers and nodded yes. My cheeks were probably a bright red, but I did not care at the moment. My breathing was unsteady as we parted, the dance having been finished.

I backed away slowly, unsure of what action I should take next. He was staring at me expectantly, as if I were supposed to make the next move. Perhaps I was suppose to say something, or perhaps I should just turn and run away. I always seemed to flee from whatever scared me, and I wanted to change that. So, gathering up what ever courage I had left in me, I spoke.

"Um...that was nice," I squeaked. The words bumped into eachother, slurring into an imcomprehensible mess. Sain smiled as I felt my face turn white hot.

"Anything for a graceous lady as yourself," He flirted. I tried my hardest to steady my heart beat, but it only seemed to quicken.

"You're too kind," I mumbled out, detrimined to make a sensible conversation with him. Over the last year, I had grown more comfortable around men, especially those that were Lyndis' Legions. Sain was always different though. I had feared him at a distance, and now I feared I had fallen for him at a distance. I wanted to show desperately that I was no longer the weak, frightened girl, but now I think I learned that I would first have to prove that to myself.

He was still smiling at me, as the music once again began playing. We stood there in awkward silence. I was waiting for him to begin playfully bantering with me once more. Instead the smile grew larger, slightly more amused.

"Would you like another round, my comely little creature?" He asked, his soothing voice pulling me to nod my head. I dreaded it in reality. I was conscious of some of the stares I was recieving from our counterparts. Well, they have every right to be staring. My phobia had caused enough embarassment for me, but now I was causing quite the spectacle. It was unbelievable I knew, me dancing with Sain. Now everyone was paying attention to my klutzy dancing. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Fiora gawking slightly in awe, but, if I was seeing correctly, there was also a smile there too.

Sain was ignoring it all, only concentrating on me. I found it slightly unnerving, and I casted my eyes away from his.

"Don't do that," He said, tilting my head with his finger up to stare into his chocolate eyes. I attempted not to totally gasp out for breath because at the moment I could hardly breathe. "Your eyes are like jewels; they shine like amethysts. Don't deprive me of the sight of them."

_'He says it to every woman, he says it to every woman,'_ I chanted mentally. It become my mantra as the tempo picked up. I was tripping over my feet trying to keep up, swirling among the few dancers remaining that had not chosen to stop and gape at us. Among them were some of his other objects of affection. Priscilla was in Heath's arms; Serra had bugged Erk into accompanying her. They were all with other men; that's the only reason he picked me. I was the only available one.

Then again, I was never so available. All the men of the army knew that I was an untouchable. Hurt me and you were the victim of the wrath of Fiora and Lyn. No man ever messed with me. But I had stepped out now. I suppose it would inevitable now that some other men would ask me for a dance. How could I refuse then? I danced with Sain, like no sensible girl would do. But I felt nothing for those others, and there just something about Sain that drew me towards him...

He was handsome. His personality was amusing, to say the least. But underneath all that sweet talk and flirtatious gestures, there was a true gentleman. It took a while to find it, but I knew it was there. He was kind to me. When we first met, he naturally came on to me, but after sharp rebukes from Lyn after several different occasions, he learned his lesson. Still, I was anxious around him moreso for that first impression he gave me. When ever he tried to be kind to me and swallow back those sweet remarks, I hid away from him, cowering within the shell of my soul. I never gave him a fair chance, and he slowly began to withdraw away from me.

Then it came, as I watched him constantly flirt with the other women of the army, I felt jealous almost. I actually missed when he did it to me. I was yearning for it, though I would never admit it to myself. It was only recently that I realized what was happening to me.

The music ceased once more, and we separated. This time I did not give him time to say anything. I walked off, supressing the urge to run. Running away would do no good. Though speed of my pace really did not matter, I convinced myself that this was much better.

I needed time to myself, to think over all these new emotions. I knew that usually by my age, girls had many crushes, and they grew used to them. Instead, this pained me. My heart was aching terribly, and I felt close to tears. But I would not cry. The new Florina would never cry. I should have known though that Fiora would follow me away from the crowd, and she would confront me about what just happened. I don't know if I had the guts to discuss it with her.

"Florina," She breathed when she caught up with me. I turned around to face her, and I blurted it all out to her.

"Oh Fiora, I don't what happened back there," I mourned. "I made a fool of myself again. Oh why-"

"I know what you did," She interjected very calmly. A warm smile adorned her face. She seemed proud. "You grew up." I was shocked by her answer. I fumbled around for words, but I could find none.

"Fiora, is it wrong to love a man like Sain?" I finally asked, very softly.

"No, it is never wrong to love a man," She answered. My heart swelled. But then her usual speech came up. "But you're a soldier, remember that. Never let your feelings get in the way during a war. Now that our great cause is over, though, it is alright to be intimate, as long as your intentions are pure of course." I stifled a giggle.

"With that attitude, you're never going to land Kent." She blushed a profuse red color, and this time I let myself laugh freely. It felt good to let all those feelings escape in a bubble of giggles. She soon joined in. I ran up to her and hugged her tightly.

"Thanks sis," I said. She slipped her arms around me.

"Of course." She soon left me, and I trudged back to my tent with a lighter heart and a smile on my features. I was preparing for bed, when I heard Sain at the tent flap.

"Florina? Fiora said you wanted to speak with me," Sain called out. "May I come in?" I froze for a second, my confidence fleeing me.

"Of course," I choked out. There he was once again, and this time, we were alone.

"Well?"

"Sain, I'm sorry for leaving like that," I finally summoned my wits to say. "You're just the...well, you're," I paused taking a deep breath. "You're the first man I've ever danced with."

"I enjoyed it, more than any other I have ever danced," He confessed to me, taking a step closer. "You're special. Other girls, they either bat their little lashes at me or slap me in the face. None have ever been quite like you. At first you intrigued me, then you captured my heart, now I only flirt with those ladies because just so I can ignore my feelings."

"Why would you want to do that?" I asked, this time approaching him. We were close, terribly close.

"Because I can't have you," He whispered to me. For the first time, his jovial expression diminished and was replaced with a grieved look.

"Says who?" My own voice was but a whimper as I made the boldest move ever in my life. I slipped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. He was much taller than me; my head leaning was on his shoulder. I was sure he could feel my heart beat through my clothing. He returned the gesture. I loved the feel of his arms around me tight.

"Everyone. You are the woman afraid of men, and I am the man who loves women. It would not work."

"It does not matter what everyone else says, only what we say, and I say you can have me." It took all my courage to say it, but I finally did, and I never regretted it. He tilted my head up, like earlier, and kissed me. It was my first kiss, and it sent jitters through my body. Whatever I was feeling before was intensified ten-fold.

My goal had been accomplished. I cannot say that I am the undaunted and assertive person I wished I would become. No, I am still meek and shy. But I am a woman, no longer a girl. And that's enough for me.

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Author's Note: When I first played Fire Emblem, I was attracted to this pairing. I guess you could call it a random couple, and it is the only random pairing I support. Finally, there are some Sain/Florina's being written. I know RLnaruhina and TweekinTinkaToy would have wanted a more Sain centered fic, but I connect more with Florina; so, this was easier for me to write. I really enjoyed writing this, and I hope you like it just as much. Please review. Constructive crit is always welcomed, but please, hold off on the flames. Lemurian-Girl, signing off.  



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